I’m a little late in getting my The Ordinary Moments post up this week but I really didn’t want to miss it, because as I keep on saying, I love capturing these little things I wouldn’t ordinarily capture. There’s something I really want to write about but I feel very conflicted about doing so… mainly because I feel I’d have to be a bit cryptic in order to not absolutely discredit whatever professional reputation I have left, but that feels a bit weird at the same time. But here goes. I may write it and delete it. We’ll see. But last week, we spent an evening sitting in our garden around our fire pit. And it was just the catharsis I needed.
I can’t really say what I threw onto the fire. But needless to say, it felt ridiculously good to throw away (physically and metaphorically!) something that has really had a negative impact on me for a long time. It’s made me realise how important it is to just take stock occasionally of what is going on in your life and freeing yourself from anything that is holding you back or feels like a real drain of energy and happiness.
It was hard to begin with. Saying goodbye to something I’ve been working towards for pretty much a decade is really confusing. I had a morning of questioning whether I was being stupid to walk away from something that took so long to build up to, but then, I’ve spent too many times sat crying in my car to know that it’s not good for me. It’s just not. It really wasn’t healthy. And if I’m really honest, I know I won’t miss it. At all. Not even a little bit.
I’m not going to talk about it a lot, I don’t need to. I’ve drawn myself a line and I’m moving on.
I’m looking forward to a new future. To focusing on my little family, and doing all I can to make them happy, content and fulfilled. To enjoying the freedom that working on this blog gives me. To spending time in the sunshine and feeling refreshed by the outdoors. To allowing myself to focus on what really matters. To holding my head high and not living with regrets.