This is a collaborative post. T’is the season for pregnancy announcements, it seems! My social media timelines are full of happy news sharing, and expanding tummies. Whilst I don’t have any news of the same kind to share (just trying to get a decent night sleep over here… ain’t no time or energy spare for baby-making!), I can’t help but think back to my own pregnancy, and in particular those first few months when everything was so exciting and new. Lots of women say the first trimester is the hardest but for me, that was the best bit. I loved…

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When I was pregnant, I woefully underestimated how many nursing bras I would need. I thought I’d buy myself a few and keep washing and wearing on rotation and that would do me for however long I successfully fed for. But, if you’ve got experience of breastfeeding, you’ll know it’s not that simple! Firstly, my boobs have been ALL sorts of crazy sizes over the last eighteen months. There’s no way I could have gotten away with wearing the same size this whole entire time. The size varies throughout the day, let alone on a month by month basis depending…

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At 30 weeks pregnant, I was diagnosed with antenatal depression (you can read my diagnosis story over at Mumsy Midwife). I can’t describe what a crushing blow it was. Even though on some level, it was a relief to hear that there was a reason behind my debilitating mood, hearing those words made me feel like a complete and utter failure. I thought it was my fault. I cursed myself for already being a ‘bad mother’ and was determined – for my sake and Pickle’s – to turn things around as quickly as I could. Although any form of perinatal…

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Whatever I had chosen to do this weekend, I’d be wracked with guilt. Guilt is a weird word to use because it inherently implies that I’ve done something wrong, something naughty or illegal… which I don’tĀ thinkĀ  I have, but I still feel guilty. Mummy Guilt. This weekend, I’m missing out on my best friend’s hen do. Before Pickle was born, I was determined that I’d be able to attend. Admittedly, I was nervous – I had no idea how I’d feel about leaving a baby behind and not knowing how easy or difficult I’d find it made me anxious. But…

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It’s something I’ve alluded to for a while but not openly admitted: I suffered from antenatal depression whilst pregnant. Thankfully, now that I’m feeling a million times better, I’m ready to be more open and honest about my perinatal mental health and I’m looking forward to sharing more about my experience. The start of my story is part of Mumsy Midwife‘s Mums and Mental Health series: read it here. If you think you might be suffering perinatal mental health issues or know someone who is and haven’t yet sought help – I can’t encourage you to do so enough. It…

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